Magic Words
Recently, while traveling, I had a long layover in Atlanta. I was exhausted from traveling and decided to sit down at PF Changs.
I took up two seats at the bar with all my stuff and vowed to move if someone else needed the spot. As I was packing up, a guy approached the bar and asked if anyone was sitting next to me.
"No, I'm just spread out," I replied. "But I'm packing it all up now."
He just looked at me and said, "It's nice to be spread out."
At that point, I had two choices. I could've snapped at him, letting tired and cranky Diana win, or I could've said my three magic words to myself and moved on.
So, that's exactly what I did – I thought, "Control alt delete."
If you've ever used a PC, you know that pressing the ctrl + alt + delete keys simultaneously closes an application or reboots the operating system.
And saying that phrase in your head has a similar effect.
Instead of taking things to heart, getting upset, or making up stories about the other person and their intention, these magic words help me reboot my mindset and move on.
As humans, we are really impacted by the negative, and we talk much more harshly to ourselves than to anybody else. When issues arise, we tend to make them about us – even when it has nothing to do with us.
Having a magic phrase helps you not spiral.
For example, my marketing friend, Jami, recently resigned from a company. Before meeting with her manager, I advised her to develop magic words to say to herself in case she got a negative response from her coworkers or manager.
Rather than focusing on negative comments or backhanded compliments, she found her own magic words, "Them, not me." These magic words helped Jami realize that the comments had more to do with her coworkers' feelings than her decision to leave.
Your phrase can be anything that helps you reset and refocus. One of my past mentees says, "Three, two, one, move on." Another marketing friend says, "Cancel, next thought."
The concept of magic words is one of my favorite hacks for business and life. Your magic words can serve you when working with a team, talking to your spouse, raising teenagers, or dealing with strangers.
Handling your thoughts in any situation is one mark of a great leader.
I'd love to hear from you; email and tell me your magic words.
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